title.

so blogging. i discovered wordle through a friend, and here is my blog in wordle style...

 

irritating

a facebook friend put this up as a note. i was very... frustrated with it to say the least. anywho here it is:

To all my Democrat friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.



To all my Republican friends:
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

christmas eve.

ive always found breaks from school a good time to reflect. on what you ask? on how petty the whole thing really is, christmas i mean. and i know it sounds scroogey and cliche, but thats what its come to nowadays. its the day before christmas eve. im listening to beautiful instrumental music, im warm although my always cold fingers are holding to their legacy. but if future shadi were to visit my room or even house right now, they would never guess its christmas time. although there is a christmasy snowman on the wrapper of the butterscotch im eating. every year, i look forward to christmas, the gifts, the sales, the excuses to shop... but every year i wake up on christmas day and i feel exactly the same as the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.* just a little more disappointed. i wish santa were real, so he could visit me, hold me, ask me what i want, and i would simply ask for a day that feels different. life is underwhelming, and holidays are false hope for change.

anywho, today i saw the movie 'up in the air'. it wouldnt recommend it if you dont like r rated content, but it was most definitely thought provoking. its about a man who spends most of the year up in the air, in air planes traveling because he fires people for a living. can you imagine the thrill of always seeing the world from above? would it make the world feel big, and you small? or you big, and the world small? can you imagine traveling the same distance as going round trip to the moon 20 times? i think it would be spectacular. i love flying, and travel. i love airport food and drinks in the planes, and just the whole thing. but i dont know if i could be alone that often. technically the guy is homeless for goodness sake, thats pretty extreme. anywho...

i will blog more, i will blog more, i will blog more... etc.
just so you know. (new years res.)

so goodbye.
*on a side note, im quite the opposite about new years. im painfully aware of the passing time. i remember the transition between 07 and 08 where i claimed i had an 07 bubble that people could visit if they wanted to, and it surrounded me and kept me safe. talk about stuck in the past...

Wasting Time...

So I'm at school right now, supposed to be working on a final project in creative writing, because i go to a school with trimesters, and we are very close to the end of the first. I'm going to press some leaves and flowers and make a collage thingy, with a word in the middle saying something like quiet, or within, something journaly. It's going to be a journal cover if you didn't guess that.

School is pretty great, and its almost a third of the way through. When did that happen? I feel like this is just maybe the 2nd or 3rd week of school. But the time has passed and i cant make it come back. Not that i want to.

Why is it that time goes by faster and faster as you get older? I've had this theory for a while that because each year is a smaller fraction or percentage of your life, it feels shorter and shorter. Its just a thought.

I need to write more, and not just blogging, but also just journaling, or stories. And before tackling a novel, just write a short story. I honestly know that I'm a pretty good writer, and I definitely want to do it on the side as I grow older, but if I ever want to get published, I need to sit down and just write. So I think I will now. A poem for you:

With four legs, I walk to the bones of my owner.
As she moves, I wonder why she cleans my excess.
I watch her mouth as I hear her sound when she bends over.

Why does she feel like her mouth does not deserve
what mine begs for every morning and evening?
I am small yet heavy,
she is large and light.

I do not know how to talk to my only love,
my caretaker. She rattles as she shakes,
I cannot look into her eyes.

So thats all! Leave comments!

So I need to blog more. And to get it to happen, I'm going to start using prompts and just writing. Ha, I dont promise it'll be any good. (credit to my english teacher who does questions like these every day as 'quick writes')

Warning: I will not censor these.

What is the worst thing that parents can do to their children?

Lately, I've been watching a lot of Law and Order SVU. I personally think that probably the worst thing a parent can do to a child is sexually and/or physically abuse them. It messes with their psyche for the rest of their lives. But I don't quite think that's what the question is wanting.

Well personally, not listening to the childs side of the story in a dispute is a problem. Sometimes, don't you want your parents to just listen? I know I do.

Once upon a time, I got in trouble. (gasp!) I supposedly cheated on an assignment, and I, along with my co-conspirator were sent to the principals office. Parents called, then phone handed to us.

What did you do?
Mom...
No, I don't want to hear your excuses. We'll have a talk about this at home.

(At home)
What did you do?
I...
You're grounded!
But..
Now! got to your room!

well anyways, thats all for today.

<3

Umm...

So i know i havent blogged in a while, but im just going to get it over with.

Today at school, a guy gave me his number, and says "I want to keep talking," and walks out. 

And here's the problem. Does he like me? or is he just nice?

at my school, theres  a teacher who provides coffee, and i keep forgetting a mug. Today, when he came into school, he walks up to me and gives me a mug and says, yeah i have like 8 at home, so you can use it. so again, likes me or nice?

then later when i go to get coffee, it tastes like piss, so i throw it out. when i come back in, he asks me, "do you want some of my coffee?" i needed caffeine, so i said yes. once again, likes me or nice. When we start class, hes my partner, and we start talking, and i find out hes a christian, hasnt done drugs, has a motorcycle, and just like a good guy. but i dont know.

so next hour, he happens to know what class i have and walks in and hands me his number. What do you think? im so confused, and i think maybe im leading him on. but i also wouldnt mind having a guy friend. but im pretty sure i dont want a boyfriend. any thoughts?